I don't actually believe in anyone.
And all my friends have gone away
to lives outside of computer screens.
It hurts more because I've got nothing besides my thoughts and this keyboard.
I spend my time
remembering home and friends and the feelings of last fall,
and spinning stories to myself about how great it would be if I was home again.
But I fear quite strongly
that if I go home
whatever hole I left in the group of my friends
has grown closed and tough,
like the skin where my snakebites used to be.
And I fear more that that is for the best.
That I am just a ball of pessimism and poison,
and it's better to have friends that don't flinch
every time the word 'love' is thrown around.

© Copyright 2009 Abby Almon