Thursday, June 18, 2009

Myspace 4

"Some of us are scared to death and some just don't believe in it."*
I am tired of feeling like this.
I am tired of spaces and structure and feeling at all.
I m trd f vwls and being what you want.
I want to be quiet for a while. I want to lose myself somewhere safe.
I want to go away to winter or ice or cold or anything beyond this stupidity, this repetition.
I know enough to know this won't last forever.
I know enough to know the good is better, is worth this bad.
I just don't know when this will leave and I can breathe without these feelings.
If you back off, I'd feel so much better.
If you'd let me alone, it would help.
I can't pull a decision from where I'm standing.
I can't do this, and I know I will regret it because I already am.
Don't guilt me over this.
I feel bad enough.
It takes too much to just sit up.
It takes too much to look at anything, to think, to breathe, to feel.
It takes too much right now.
Can't we put this on pause?
I don't know what to do.
I will regret anything I say.
I will regret any choice I make, or lack thereof.
I will feel bad if we stay or go.
The only thing to tip the scales is grades right now.
So wrong, so angry, so whatever.
Well whatever, never mind this bullshit.
I know enough to know things get better.
So don't worry just leave me alone.

© Copyright 2007 Abby Almon
*Lyrics by Straylight Run

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