The sound system had finally been hooked up right, and the music was loud enough to rattle the windows. The outside walls of the house had mattresses against them as makeshift soundproofing. The house had been empty for a few years, but now, almost every night, it was filled to the brim with kids. Regardless of school, the same faces showed up. It was a cathartic thing, at first.
Before anyone knew anyone, it was just to get away and lose yourself; pretend you didn't exist at all. But then the blue lights were added, old mattresses dragged in, lists of bands scrawled onto the walls, and it turned into something better.

Hey Mr. DJ (Hey Mr. DJ)
You gotta put a record on, yeah (You gotta put a record on, yeah)
We're gonna dance tonight (tonight, tonight)
Dance tonight*

The cathartic thing, that was the beginning. A bunch of kids sprawled out across the house, cigarettes burning, skin burning, hiding from people who tore them apart. It helped, as unlikely as it was, to be there with so many people. Then the music started, and it was fighting to a beat. Kids could go home with black eyes and bruised ribs and know, just know that they were at least doing something. That they had some control somewhere. Everyone, all their parents, it seemed, were so unhappy and completely miserable in their age. They made old age seem awful, with their hopeless mindset. With a house filled with tension, you just have to get away.
When people started talking, they ended up finding people who understood the mess of emotions sitting inside them, and that became the help they needed; the fighting turned to dancing, and the cigarettes were put out.

Just let me ask you:
Hey, have you heard of my religion?
It's called the Church of Hot Addiction
And we believe that God has lust for everything*

The sex, that came later. After you knew everyone in the place, knew their names and what their scars meant. When it stopped being a bunch of strangers; when it was like a house full of your best friends.
It wasn't sex like in porn movies. It was more like knowing you were alive, feeling alive, really. Letting the person know you were there, and showing them how you felt, because no one believed in words anymore. It was sex like laughter and holding hands and breathing easy. And it was lust too, and a little bit of love. It was around that time that the blue lights were added in the overhead fixtures. Christmas lights were strung up on the walls. The building thrummed from the electricity, the light, and the music.
---
The first time you showed up, it was just before the music started. You were angry and disgusted by most of the world, and you were planning on suffocating everything bad in the smoke and the dark. You didn't expect to find someone who wanted to talk to you. You didn't think they'd see you, talk to you, and there would be this understanding in their voice. You didn't get why they cared at all, but you talked because you were always good at spilling your guts. You’d been feeling out of control for the past month, and, honestly, you were a mess of anger and raw skin. You figured the things you said would make them go away; you didn't know that you'd end up with someone to curl up against and fall asleep with.
And it was funny, because making one friend turned into two and four and ten. It was like people lost their walls when they came into the house. You'd spend your nights dancing, laughing, and making out. It was how you all got through the world that had suddenly become impossible. It was something that let you know you were okay.

It was surprising, you thought, that no one had reported any type of disturbance to the police. You weren’t hurting anyone, but it was still better to be left alone. No one, besides those that were there, seemed to know about the late night parties. Not even the parents noticed. Sometimes, kids would crash at the house when the sun came up. They’d pull the mattresses off the walls and curl up on them. Their absence at school didn't make any difference.
The kids that slept there, if they stuck around until nightfall, would set everything up. You’d all run around, playing hide and seek with the world. You were always winning, in the night when you were all kings.

So leave us alone
When we're riding high
Mister police
Ain't hurting no one

The city's asleep
And the world is mine
We hide and go seek
And you know they'll never, ever, ever find us*

It started when everyone was fucking buried under the regret of the people who ran their lives. Parents wielding power they shouldn't have, leaving bruises or tears or empty ribcages. These kids, they were the end of what their parents held dear. Because they knew this, they became the end of broken hearts. They were young and alive and on fire. Better than the listlessness every authority figure seemed to embody. They cared. They could have been a movement, could have moved the world.

It's the end of a broken heart
I went on without you
I was lost from the start
I did what I had to
All we are is too fast for love

We're too young
I hate to love you
The night sky
Hangs above you
But you can't be missed
If you never go away

You don't know what I've seen
You can see that I've been damaged*

© Copyright 2007 Abby Almon

* Lyrics belong to Cobra Starship